Shapes

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I couldn't wait to be pregnant. I had visions of myself with a baby bump and it was all very flattering. I was going to be such a cute pregnant lady! I excercize pretty regularly and I like to run, so naturally I would continue that throughout my pregnancy. I was going to look so cute in my maternity workout clothes. People at the gym would say "Wow! Look at her on the eliptical, 7 months pregnant! That's amazing!" And I would only gain mass in my belly. And because of that, when the baby is born, I was going to spring back into shape without even trying. Yeah, I was going to be THAT girl.

Boy, was I wrong!

But I wasn't being totally unrealistic with those dreams, my doctors led to believe they would be true. "You're petit. For your current weight and height, you can expect to gain about 20- 25 lbs throughout your pregnancy." Great! Most of that will be the weight of the baby, placenta, and amniotic fluid, so I will walk out of the hospital after giving birth looking like I had never been pregnant to begin with! Like Kate Middleton or Beyoncé! Maybe there would even be speculation that I never actually carried the baby myself, but had a surrogate and only pretended to be pregnant! Yeah, just like Beyoncé.

Well, that fantasy was short-lived because by the time I had my 3 month check up, I had already approached a 20 lb gain. "Well, 25-30 lbs would be ok," they said... And then at five months I was approaching 30 lbs and they said "Well, 30-35 lbs is still ok for your size."  And by 7 months they started saying "Hmmm, let's keep an eye on that weight gain, shall we?" Well, at that point I was going in for weekly check ups, so you can imagine my delight to hear that every single week.

What the hell happened?? 

Here's what happened. I continued to jog and went to the gym for a while in the beginning. But then nausea and heartburn set in. Big time. So workouts started to slow down. Then, mid way through the pregnancy, I started getting real bad pain in my pelvis and all forms of excercize came to a halt  completely (as recommended by my doctors who were also telling me to watch my weight gain at the same time). 

So the number on the scale kept creeping up. And it wasn't because I was eating pickles and ice cream all the time. I was actually eating less than I normally do because everything made me nauseous! In fact, my only craving throughout most of the pregnancy was for apples, much to the disappointment of my husband (he was hoping to get a free ride on the train to Crave Town)! How was I gaining so much weight? Honestly, at the time I didn't care. At that point, I was on cloud nine. Our baby was healthy and growing and I was about to finally be a mommy!

When the baby finally arrived, I was shocked to find out that instead of shrinking back to size, my body actually got bigger the first 48 hours postpartum! Oh yeah. I had so much swelling going on, I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror the first time I went into the bathroom! After 23 hours of labor and  3 1/2 hours of pushing, I looked like a hippopotamus! No joke.

Luckily, it's true when they say breastfeeding helps the weight come off faster. The first 25 lbs came off without really trying. I have about 20 more pounds to go, but I'm back at the gym and started to run again so I'm on my way!

I have to laugh at the whole ordeal because really, the only important thing is that we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl. I survived labor and delivery (thank you, epidural), and I love being a mommy. 

Not that it has anything to do with pregnancy, but this all reminds me of a Dane Cook bit about a creepy guy at work, who he describes not as being fat, but just shapes. That's how I felt after giving birth. I wasn't fat. I was shapes.

Here's the clip to start your day with a good chuckle. Laughter burns calories! You're welcome.