A really funny thing happened yesterday. Well, if you ask my husband, it wasn't really funny at all. But that's only because it happened to him. I got to hear the play-by-play, so to me, it was hilarious.
We had a fun day planned this Sunday. We were meeting some friends of ours for breakfast and then taking our babies to the pumpkin patch. The mommies were excited for two reasons: 1. Breakfast is awesome, especially when you don't have to make it or clean it up; 2. The pumpkin patch offers some great Fall photo ops! Despite the fact that it was pretty fucking cold out, we were determined to get some cute shots of our little pumpkins sitting amongst the actual pumpkins because that will be adorable and no one has ever thought of that before, right?
But first, breakfast. Baby Girl can sit up on her own now, so that means we can put her in a high chair at restaurants. And that means I can finally use that fancy high chair/shopping cart cover that I got at my baby shower! It was perfect. Not only is it pretty, but there are a few rattly toys attached to keep her busy while we wait for food and it protects her from having to touch or, god forbid, lick any nasty goo that the last baby left behind from their breakfast. As we are eating, my friend says "Look at her. She is so calm and content at the table." I took a break from my plate full of bacon to glance at her, realizing now that she had stopped babbling for quite some time. "Oh, that's not calm. That's her poop face." Lucky for me, my husband eats like it's his job to be the first one done at the table. And because he's such a gentleman, he knew he was on diaper duty so I could finish my meal.
As he picked her up from her fancy seat cover, the look on his face turned to a combination of panic, disgust, and an immediate regret for scarfing down his food so quickly, as he felt the warm wetness that was all down her leg and now in his hand. "Shit. Hand me her extra clothes." Shit was right. She pooped right through her diaper, onesie, jeans, AND the fancy seat cover! Boy was I glad I still had bacon on my plate. He knew there was no changing station in the bathroom, so he opted to change her in the car to avoid laying her on the bathroom floor.
Hang on. I haven't even gotten to the funny part yet...
The rest of us continued eating our breakfast and chatting, only to realize that Hubby had been gone for over 10 minutes now! I only noticed this when I saw the bottom of my coffee mug. That means I actually got to finish my coffee and that rarely happens. When he finally returned, all he said was "That was not pretty. We should keep plastic bags in the car." And I could tell he did not care to elaborate.
As we walked to our separate cars in the parking lot, PTSD started to set in. "No, really. That was awful. Like, the worst blow out ever," he said with empty eyes. "Oh, come on. You should be used to baby poop by now," I told him. "It got on my face," he said discretely, trying not to let our friends just a few cars away hear him. "What?! How the fuck did you manage that?" I blurted out, which they did probably hear. "She kicked me with a shitty sock," he said both embarrassed and traumatized.
My response: "BAAH HAHAHA! That's hilarious!"
Hubby: "No, it's not."
Me: "This is so going in the blog."
Hubby: "I know."
So we continued on our way to the pumpkin patch with the shitty clothes and seat cover rolled up in a stinky ball in the trunk (because I'll be damned if we are going to miss a cute photo op because of a shitty sock to the face). We did end up getting some great photos. And now, for those of you who have had the pleasure of viewing them on my Facebook page, you now have an explanation as to why my child is wearing an orange shirt with a pumpkin on it with grey sweatpants that have bunnies on the feet. We were much more coordinated than that in the morning, I swear!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Please Don't Share Your Toys
I knew sending our daughter to daycare would mean bringing home lots of germs. It will be good for her immune system, right? Sure! We made it through our first cold, just one week into starting daycare. One week. That's all it took for those babies to haze the new kid. I'm sure to the adults it looked all cute, like they were learning how to share toys. But really it was all a part of some evil baby scheme to start an epidemic, just because they can. Don't let those cute, chubby cheeks fool you! Babies can be diabolical!
I thought the first cold was bad. Runny nose, cranky, runny nose, no naps, runny nose. Oh, and she had a runny nose too. If I were to collect all the snot that I suctioned out of her nose that week, it would probably equal her body weight. There is nothing grosser than a baby with a crusty booger nose. And to make matters worse, she will scream bloody murder if you try to wipe it off. Oh, you enjoy the feeling of dried up snot on your face? I'm so sorry! I just assumed you would want to maintain your soft, adorable huggable features. Nobody (except momma) wants to hold a baby with snot face. Or maybe that was her plan all along. Snot face = time alone with mommy. Diabolical, I tell you.
Just a few weeks later, we got hit with round two. Only this time it wasn't the common cold. It was an outbreak of the virus every parent fears. Not chicken pox. I think most parents want their kids to get chicken pox so they don't get it again or develop shingles when they're older. Not the stomach bug, although that is a nightmare that I am not looking forward to. I'm talking about Coxsackievirus.
Don't know what that is? Well let me give you a brief overview of our experience with it. Coxsackievirus is spread through bodily fluids. And what do babies enjoy sharing the most? Bodily fluids! Drool, snot, puke, you name it and they'll share it. "Hey, new baby! You have got to try this block I've been playing with! I've been chewing on it for a while now, so the corners of the wood are nice and soft. Here, give it a go!" Now, I know her daycare providers take extra special care to try to prevent them from chewing on the same toys. I've seen them wash the toys and switch them out, but it is impossible to prevent it 100% of the time. I assume that's how she contracted the virus.
Two weeks went by since the first case popped up in her daycare, so I thought we were the lucky ones and escaped the pandemic. I should have known luck would not be on my side. I'm the type of person who buys a scratch off ticket to put in someone's birthday card (because they are cheap, but still exciting to receive) and then they win a million dollars. Ok, that never happened, but that's why I don't buy scratch offs for other people.
It started off with just a few spots that resembled pimples on her shoulder and a couple on her leg. Within an hour, she had a fever of 102 and the rash had spread all over her back, both legs and arms. As the fever got worse, she became absolutely miserable. It was heartbreaking to see my usually happy, smily baby turn into this angry, irritable human being. Not only did the rash turn my baby's perfect skin into a red, bumpy, scaly mess, the doctor saw that she had sores down her throat too. She screamed all night long. We gave her baby Motrin to control the fever and relieve the pain in her throat, but she couldn't even take it because it hurt her to swallow. I stayed up and cried with her all night. There was nothing I could do. Not even my magical breast could soothe her. That has always been my go-to remedy! Now what?!
We kept her home a few days. My husband and I took turns staying home with her. I had day 1. She fussed, wouldn't eat, wouldn't nap, and had diarrhea. Day 2: no fever, happy, playful, took long naps and ate an extra helping of veggies. I expected nothing less. Next time, Momma gets day 2!
Hubby and I have been diligent with washing our hands after every diaper change and feeding because that is really the only thing you could do to prevent catching it yourself. To be honest, I wasn't even really considering the fact that I could get it too. I had been so consumed with nursing her back to health, I didn't take note of the fact that she loves to suck on my shoulder, my fingers, my cell phone, the remote control, my necklaces... Basically anything she could get her hands on. I was literally wearing the virus around my neck! So here I am, home on a Thursday because yesterday the school nurse sent me home with a fever and now I have spots on my throat. Last night I couldn't even sit up in bed without help from my husband. On the plus side, I get to stay home with my favorite little girl AND it gave me some time to write on my blog! Who gets the last laugh now, babies? Muahahaha!
I thought the first cold was bad. Runny nose, cranky, runny nose, no naps, runny nose. Oh, and she had a runny nose too. If I were to collect all the snot that I suctioned out of her nose that week, it would probably equal her body weight. There is nothing grosser than a baby with a crusty booger nose. And to make matters worse, she will scream bloody murder if you try to wipe it off. Oh, you enjoy the feeling of dried up snot on your face? I'm so sorry! I just assumed you would want to maintain your soft, adorable huggable features. Nobody (except momma) wants to hold a baby with snot face. Or maybe that was her plan all along. Snot face = time alone with mommy. Diabolical, I tell you.
Just a few weeks later, we got hit with round two. Only this time it wasn't the common cold. It was an outbreak of the virus every parent fears. Not chicken pox. I think most parents want their kids to get chicken pox so they don't get it again or develop shingles when they're older. Not the stomach bug, although that is a nightmare that I am not looking forward to. I'm talking about Coxsackievirus.
Don't know what that is? Well let me give you a brief overview of our experience with it. Coxsackievirus is spread through bodily fluids. And what do babies enjoy sharing the most? Bodily fluids! Drool, snot, puke, you name it and they'll share it. "Hey, new baby! You have got to try this block I've been playing with! I've been chewing on it for a while now, so the corners of the wood are nice and soft. Here, give it a go!" Now, I know her daycare providers take extra special care to try to prevent them from chewing on the same toys. I've seen them wash the toys and switch them out, but it is impossible to prevent it 100% of the time. I assume that's how she contracted the virus.
Two weeks went by since the first case popped up in her daycare, so I thought we were the lucky ones and escaped the pandemic. I should have known luck would not be on my side. I'm the type of person who buys a scratch off ticket to put in someone's birthday card (because they are cheap, but still exciting to receive) and then they win a million dollars. Ok, that never happened, but that's why I don't buy scratch offs for other people.
It started off with just a few spots that resembled pimples on her shoulder and a couple on her leg. Within an hour, she had a fever of 102 and the rash had spread all over her back, both legs and arms. As the fever got worse, she became absolutely miserable. It was heartbreaking to see my usually happy, smily baby turn into this angry, irritable human being. Not only did the rash turn my baby's perfect skin into a red, bumpy, scaly mess, the doctor saw that she had sores down her throat too. She screamed all night long. We gave her baby Motrin to control the fever and relieve the pain in her throat, but she couldn't even take it because it hurt her to swallow. I stayed up and cried with her all night. There was nothing I could do. Not even my magical breast could soothe her. That has always been my go-to remedy! Now what?!
We kept her home a few days. My husband and I took turns staying home with her. I had day 1. She fussed, wouldn't eat, wouldn't nap, and had diarrhea. Day 2: no fever, happy, playful, took long naps and ate an extra helping of veggies. I expected nothing less. Next time, Momma gets day 2!
Hubby and I have been diligent with washing our hands after every diaper change and feeding because that is really the only thing you could do to prevent catching it yourself. To be honest, I wasn't even really considering the fact that I could get it too. I had been so consumed with nursing her back to health, I didn't take note of the fact that she loves to suck on my shoulder, my fingers, my cell phone, the remote control, my necklaces... Basically anything she could get her hands on. I was literally wearing the virus around my neck! So here I am, home on a Thursday because yesterday the school nurse sent me home with a fever and now I have spots on my throat. Last night I couldn't even sit up in bed without help from my husband. On the plus side, I get to stay home with my favorite little girl AND it gave me some time to write on my blog! Who gets the last laugh now, babies? Muahahaha!
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
New Jersey: 5 Minutes from Everywhere
This past weekend we went to visit my Aunt and Uncle. They have become sort of parental figures to me since losing my mom and it's important to me that baby girl spends time with them too. So we packed up the car (and I mean PACKED!) for an over night stay in New Jersey. It's amazing how much stuff such a tiny person needs to go away for just one night! Hubby and I crammed all of our stuff into one bag, the rest of the trunk was for all the baby paraphanalia. They must have thought we were moving in long term when we pulled up and had to make several trips to the car to unload!
Baby girl had a great time with them. She even loved seeing the dogs (two little Malteses) who barked incessantly at her since the moment we walked in the door. The male dog was terrified of the baby and pretty much kept his distance. He was probably thinking I don't know what kind of breed that hairless creature is, but it makes funny noises and I don't trust it. The female, on the other hand, was not having any of it and she made sure to voice her opinion. That tiny little 3 lb pup sniffed her up and down and barked and barked and barked. Who do you think you are, being all cute, coming into MY house, cuddling my MY parents? I'm the cute one here! This is MY palace! So take your diapers and your wipes, and your... Oh, what's this? A stuffed animal? I'll be taking that...
It was pretty funny, actually. The more she barked at the baby, the more the baby smiled and laughed and even started yelling back to her.
Dog: I'm cuter!
Baby: No, I'm cuter!
Dog: No, I'm cuter!
Baby: haha, this is fun!
(At least that's how I imagined it)
But the dog took it very seriously and eventually retreated to her perch on top of the couch where she could carefully oversee this intruder on her territory. This went on the whole weekend. I tried channeling my inner Cezar Milan and use some dog whisperer techniques. That worked for about 10 minutes, and then it was round 2 of Baby vs. Dog. I'm not sure who won, but baby sure had fun playing!
We had beautiful weather, so we did a lot of stuff outdoors. We met my sister, her husband and kids at the zoo and had lunch. Yay! Her first trip to the zoo! She will have so much fun looking at the animals... I thought. She slept in her stroller the whole time. Oh well, I'm still putting it on her calendar! She woke up in time for lunch and got to hang out with her cousins, who she just adores, while my uncle made friends with an 84 year old Italian man who showed us a black and white photo of his wife back in the day and told us that "she's much heavier now." That's one of my favorite things about my uncle. He makes friends wherever he goes. He's a magnet for interesting characters, like Huey on the train to Disney World, or Peter at the gas station, and Ernie from PSE&G.
The next day we took a nice long walk in the park and baby girl took her first ride in a swing. By that I mean she sat uncomfortably in a swing that was obviously too big for her while we took pictures of her as she slowly slouched deeper and deeper into the contraption. So cute! She wasn't amused.
Before we left we went out to lunch. "Do you want Italian or Chinese?" my uncle asked. "The Italian place is just down the road and the Chinese place is about five minutes away." I could tell he really wanted Chinese so we went with that. We piled into the car and headed out to lunch.
"It's just 10 minutes down the road." my uncle said. Wait, I thought you said five. Oh well, no big deal... 10 minutes later... "Are we there yet?" My husband asked, watching the gas gauge approach E. "is it within 20 miles because we're running out of gas?" To which my uncle replied, "oh yeah, it's just 15 minutes away." Apparently, in NJ the laws of time and space don't apply. Maybe that's why NJ drivers are notorious for cutting you off and yielding at stop signs. Because if your destination is 10 minutes away, you need to step on it to make sure you get there in 30, and that car at your front bumper is actually a mile away. In fact, the side view mirrors on NJ vehicles read OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE AT LEAST 30 YARDS FARTHER THAN THEY APPEAR, SO GO AHEAD AND DRIVE AS THOUGH THEY ARE NOT EVEN THERE.
So we keep driving, with the baby in the back seat screeching like a wild banshee. "Is she ok back there?" My uncle asked. "Oh, yeah. She's happy as can be. That's just what she does from time to time." She likes the sound of her own voice, especially when we're in a confined space or somewhere public. My Aunt was in hysterics watching her. She sang to her some songs from her childhood, and some she made up on the spot about driving all around the state of NJ to get Chinese food. Anything to keep her entertained! Baby Girl sang right along with her!
40 minutes later, we reach our dining destination, with 3 miles of gas left to spare. We had a delicious lunch, followed by yummy frozen yogurt. We always have a good time with them, filled with lots of laughs. I wish we all lived closer to each other, but these trips make great memories and hilarious stories to tell for years to come!
Can you guess which cups belong to my health-nut, vitamin-crazed, fitness guru Aunt & Uncle, which one is mine, and which one is my hubby's? If you say mine is the gallon of overflowing chocolate and toppings, I'll break your neck!
Baby girl had a great time with them. She even loved seeing the dogs (two little Malteses) who barked incessantly at her since the moment we walked in the door. The male dog was terrified of the baby and pretty much kept his distance. He was probably thinking I don't know what kind of breed that hairless creature is, but it makes funny noises and I don't trust it. The female, on the other hand, was not having any of it and she made sure to voice her opinion. That tiny little 3 lb pup sniffed her up and down and barked and barked and barked. Who do you think you are, being all cute, coming into MY house, cuddling my MY parents? I'm the cute one here! This is MY palace! So take your diapers and your wipes, and your... Oh, what's this? A stuffed animal? I'll be taking that...
It was pretty funny, actually. The more she barked at the baby, the more the baby smiled and laughed and even started yelling back to her.
Dog: I'm cuter!
Baby: No, I'm cuter!
Dog: No, I'm cuter!
Baby: haha, this is fun!
(At least that's how I imagined it)
But the dog took it very seriously and eventually retreated to her perch on top of the couch where she could carefully oversee this intruder on her territory. This went on the whole weekend. I tried channeling my inner Cezar Milan and use some dog whisperer techniques. That worked for about 10 minutes, and then it was round 2 of Baby vs. Dog. I'm not sure who won, but baby sure had fun playing!
We had beautiful weather, so we did a lot of stuff outdoors. We met my sister, her husband and kids at the zoo and had lunch. Yay! Her first trip to the zoo! She will have so much fun looking at the animals... I thought. She slept in her stroller the whole time. Oh well, I'm still putting it on her calendar! She woke up in time for lunch and got to hang out with her cousins, who she just adores, while my uncle made friends with an 84 year old Italian man who showed us a black and white photo of his wife back in the day and told us that "she's much heavier now." That's one of my favorite things about my uncle. He makes friends wherever he goes. He's a magnet for interesting characters, like Huey on the train to Disney World, or Peter at the gas station, and Ernie from PSE&G.
The next day we took a nice long walk in the park and baby girl took her first ride in a swing. By that I mean she sat uncomfortably in a swing that was obviously too big for her while we took pictures of her as she slowly slouched deeper and deeper into the contraption. So cute! She wasn't amused.
Before we left we went out to lunch. "Do you want Italian or Chinese?" my uncle asked. "The Italian place is just down the road and the Chinese place is about five minutes away." I could tell he really wanted Chinese so we went with that. We piled into the car and headed out to lunch.
"It's just 10 minutes down the road." my uncle said. Wait, I thought you said five. Oh well, no big deal... 10 minutes later... "Are we there yet?" My husband asked, watching the gas gauge approach E. "is it within 20 miles because we're running out of gas?" To which my uncle replied, "oh yeah, it's just 15 minutes away." Apparently, in NJ the laws of time and space don't apply. Maybe that's why NJ drivers are notorious for cutting you off and yielding at stop signs. Because if your destination is 10 minutes away, you need to step on it to make sure you get there in 30, and that car at your front bumper is actually a mile away. In fact, the side view mirrors on NJ vehicles read OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE AT LEAST 30 YARDS FARTHER THAN THEY APPEAR, SO GO AHEAD AND DRIVE AS THOUGH THEY ARE NOT EVEN THERE.
So we keep driving, with the baby in the back seat screeching like a wild banshee. "Is she ok back there?" My uncle asked. "Oh, yeah. She's happy as can be. That's just what she does from time to time." She likes the sound of her own voice, especially when we're in a confined space or somewhere public. My Aunt was in hysterics watching her. She sang to her some songs from her childhood, and some she made up on the spot about driving all around the state of NJ to get Chinese food. Anything to keep her entertained! Baby Girl sang right along with her!
40 minutes later, we reach our dining destination, with 3 miles of gas left to spare. We had a delicious lunch, followed by yummy frozen yogurt. We always have a good time with them, filled with lots of laughs. I wish we all lived closer to each other, but these trips make great memories and hilarious stories to tell for years to come!
Can you guess which cups belong to my health-nut, vitamin-crazed, fitness guru Aunt & Uncle, which one is mine, and which one is my hubby's? If you say mine is the gallon of overflowing chocolate and toppings, I'll break your neck!
Friday, August 1, 2014
First Day of Daycare
This past week was a tough one for me. Monday and Tuesday were marked on my calendar, taunting me for weeks, causing my heart to break a little every time I walked by. Summer work days. I know a lot of you want to reach through your computer screens right now and smack me for complaining about having to work two whole days during the summer, but actually it's four. I have to go back a few days in August. What's that? I still haven't won your sympathy? Ok, I get it. But nonetheless, I know every mother can relate to this experience. Baby girl's first full day at daycare...
Hubby and I decided, even before she was born, that we wanted our child to go to daycare when I go back to work. As a teacher, I know the benefits of learning how to socialize with other children, how to behave in a structured environment, how to share toys (and attention) with other children, and that it's ok to be away from mommy and daddy for a while (that last one was a lesson for me as well!). These skills foster independence and developmental growth, not to mention Kindergated readiness. Don't get me wrong, I would be a stay-at-home mom in a split second if I could, but for some reason our money tree just isn't taking root. I think it might be our sandy soil. Anyway...
In preparation for the first big day, I brought the little peanut in for a visit the Thursday prior. I stayed with her for a few hours so it wouldn't be a strange place with strange people when I dropped her off on Monday. They had her cubby all ready with her name and birthday on a cupcake picture on the wall. They had a cabinet space labeled and ready for her diapers and wipes too. This is going to be her home away from home during the school year. I could already feel the tears welling up and we had only been there for five minutes!
We went into the play area and sat down with all the toys. With so much to look at, peanut didn't know what to do with herself. Then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by babies! Two of them walked right over, and the others, not yet mobile on their feel, crawled or wiggled on their bellies to come check out the newbie. It was starting to feel a bit children of the corn-ish, but then one boy handed my little peanut a toy, and then another baby brought over a toy for her too! I just about lost it! These are going to be her bff's! I fell in love with each of them!
Her teacher came over and sat with us too. She gestured to hold my baby and she went right into her arms. Her teacher was very cuddly and loving with her and it made me feel good to know she was going to be in good hands. She convinced me to drop her off the next day too, even just for an hour or two before leaving her for a full day on Monday. So that's what I did.
I brought her back on Friday morning and only stayed for a few minutes. They had set up her pack n' play right next to my friend's son, so he can look after her. He's a big boy, one of the oldest in the room (just turned 1) so I told him to keep an eye on my girl. He gave me a serious nod in agreement. Either that or he was pooping.
It was surprisingly easy to drop her off for a few hours. I guess because I have been away from her for a bit longer than that when I get my hair done or go to the gym, it wasn't that bad. When I came to pick her up, she was asleep in one of the teacher's arms. A huge feeling of relief came over me and I literally sighed out loud. I was so happy to see her comfortable enough to take a little nap. I asked if they had trouble putting her down in her pack n' play for a nap and she said she didn't even try because she was already comfy and she just wanted to snuggle with her anyway. Music to my ears! No one can possibly love her more than me and my husband, but I think we found a place that comes pretty close! Just then, she opened her little eyes, looked at me and gave me a huge smile! First drop off was a success!
Then came the dreaded Monday. We walked in and her teachers welcomed us with big smiles. I unpacked her things and went through the list of things like when to feed her, how to know when she's sleepy, to change her if she gets too warm or too cold, and that she likes to nap on her side. They were very good at not showing their ok-lady-we-got-this-we-know-what-we're-doing face and let me go on and on. I gave my little muffin a million kisses, told her teachers to call me if she becomes unruly and starts tearing the place apart because she misses me so much (seriously, that's what I said), and I walked out before my baby could see me cry.
I got in my car, called my husband at work and cried to him the whole 10 minutes it took me to get to my school because I missed her already. "It will be ok," he said. "It was really hard for me to go back to work too." Oh yeah. He already had to go through this, when she was just 2 weeks old. "The best part is coming home and seeing her big smile when you walk in the door." I held onto that image in my mind to get me through the day. Luckily I have some of the best coworkers who are also some of the funniest and craziest people I know, who kept me both busy and entertained throughout the day and before I knew it, it was time to go get that little munchkin!
She was asleep again all snugly in her teacher's arms. They said she cried a bit, but was easily soothed and she had a great day! Once again, she slowly opened her tiny eyes, maybe because she heard my voice, and gave me a huge smile. I scooped her right up and gave her the biggest hug.
As we walked out to the car, I witnessed something beautiful. The teacher of the toddler room had the kids outside playing on the blacktop where they have bikes and ride-on toys and chalk, etc., but it had rained that morning so there was a huge puddle in the middle of the play area. The little ones seemed intrigued by this large body of water that wasn't there yesterday, but they carefully kept their distance. Then I heard the teacher say "Go ahead! Jump in!" The children looked at each other as if to say Did she just give us permission to jump in that puddle? Is this some kind of test? Then, one brave soul tapped his foot in sending a tiny splash into the air. The others softly giggled until another child jumped in with both feet making an even bigger splash. Before long, they were all jumping in the puddle, laughing and smiling and having what seemed to be the best time of their tiny little lives. Their laughter quickly filled the air and I thought to myself, Oh yeah, I think we're going to love it here!
Hubby and I decided, even before she was born, that we wanted our child to go to daycare when I go back to work. As a teacher, I know the benefits of learning how to socialize with other children, how to behave in a structured environment, how to share toys (and attention) with other children, and that it's ok to be away from mommy and daddy for a while (that last one was a lesson for me as well!). These skills foster independence and developmental growth, not to mention Kindergated readiness. Don't get me wrong, I would be a stay-at-home mom in a split second if I could, but for some reason our money tree just isn't taking root. I think it might be our sandy soil. Anyway...
In preparation for the first big day, I brought the little peanut in for a visit the Thursday prior. I stayed with her for a few hours so it wouldn't be a strange place with strange people when I dropped her off on Monday. They had her cubby all ready with her name and birthday on a cupcake picture on the wall. They had a cabinet space labeled and ready for her diapers and wipes too. This is going to be her home away from home during the school year. I could already feel the tears welling up and we had only been there for five minutes!
We went into the play area and sat down with all the toys. With so much to look at, peanut didn't know what to do with herself. Then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by babies! Two of them walked right over, and the others, not yet mobile on their feel, crawled or wiggled on their bellies to come check out the newbie. It was starting to feel a bit children of the corn-ish, but then one boy handed my little peanut a toy, and then another baby brought over a toy for her too! I just about lost it! These are going to be her bff's! I fell in love with each of them!
Her teacher came over and sat with us too. She gestured to hold my baby and she went right into her arms. Her teacher was very cuddly and loving with her and it made me feel good to know she was going to be in good hands. She convinced me to drop her off the next day too, even just for an hour or two before leaving her for a full day on Monday. So that's what I did.
I brought her back on Friday morning and only stayed for a few minutes. They had set up her pack n' play right next to my friend's son, so he can look after her. He's a big boy, one of the oldest in the room (just turned 1) so I told him to keep an eye on my girl. He gave me a serious nod in agreement. Either that or he was pooping.
It was surprisingly easy to drop her off for a few hours. I guess because I have been away from her for a bit longer than that when I get my hair done or go to the gym, it wasn't that bad. When I came to pick her up, she was asleep in one of the teacher's arms. A huge feeling of relief came over me and I literally sighed out loud. I was so happy to see her comfortable enough to take a little nap. I asked if they had trouble putting her down in her pack n' play for a nap and she said she didn't even try because she was already comfy and she just wanted to snuggle with her anyway. Music to my ears! No one can possibly love her more than me and my husband, but I think we found a place that comes pretty close! Just then, she opened her little eyes, looked at me and gave me a huge smile! First drop off was a success!
Then came the dreaded Monday. We walked in and her teachers welcomed us with big smiles. I unpacked her things and went through the list of things like when to feed her, how to know when she's sleepy, to change her if she gets too warm or too cold, and that she likes to nap on her side. They were very good at not showing their ok-lady-we-got-this-we-know-what-we're-doing face and let me go on and on. I gave my little muffin a million kisses, told her teachers to call me if she becomes unruly and starts tearing the place apart because she misses me so much (seriously, that's what I said), and I walked out before my baby could see me cry.
I got in my car, called my husband at work and cried to him the whole 10 minutes it took me to get to my school because I missed her already. "It will be ok," he said. "It was really hard for me to go back to work too." Oh yeah. He already had to go through this, when she was just 2 weeks old. "The best part is coming home and seeing her big smile when you walk in the door." I held onto that image in my mind to get me through the day. Luckily I have some of the best coworkers who are also some of the funniest and craziest people I know, who kept me both busy and entertained throughout the day and before I knew it, it was time to go get that little munchkin!
She was asleep again all snugly in her teacher's arms. They said she cried a bit, but was easily soothed and she had a great day! Once again, she slowly opened her tiny eyes, maybe because she heard my voice, and gave me a huge smile. I scooped her right up and gave her the biggest hug.
As we walked out to the car, I witnessed something beautiful. The teacher of the toddler room had the kids outside playing on the blacktop where they have bikes and ride-on toys and chalk, etc., but it had rained that morning so there was a huge puddle in the middle of the play area. The little ones seemed intrigued by this large body of water that wasn't there yesterday, but they carefully kept their distance. Then I heard the teacher say "Go ahead! Jump in!" The children looked at each other as if to say Did she just give us permission to jump in that puddle? Is this some kind of test? Then, one brave soul tapped his foot in sending a tiny splash into the air. The others softly giggled until another child jumped in with both feet making an even bigger splash. Before long, they were all jumping in the puddle, laughing and smiling and having what seemed to be the best time of their tiny little lives. Their laughter quickly filled the air and I thought to myself, Oh yeah, I think we're going to love it here!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
That Mom
Everybody knows a mom who constantly boasts about their kids, posts a trillion pictures on Facebook per hour, and thinks that everyone else in the world is waiting on the edges of their seats for the next update on what their child got on their Spelling test or the color of their baby's poop. You know, THAT mom. Ugh, what a pain in the ass, right? I mean, really! Babies are cute, but they're a dime a dozen. Once you've seen one baby take their first steps, do you really need to see any other? Unless you are fortunate enough to catch your baby taking her first steps, looking especially drunk and wobbly, and ends up falling down, landing on an adorable puppy on video (you know, some real quality AFV shit), does anyone really care? I sure don't!
That was me... before becoming a mom. Something strange happened to me 4 1/2 months ago. It wasn't my body morphing into the shape of a hippo who swallowed a watermelon, or the super human strength I magically obtained to squeeze out said watermelon from my lady parts, or acquiring the power to, not only function but take care of another human being on just a few hours of sleep. All of those things are weird and true, but the strangest thing that happened to me was that on that magical day in March, I became THAT mom. Yup. That mom that you roll your eyes at as you scroll down your Facebook newsfeed, trying to get past the obnoxious baby pics as fast as you can to get to the good FB gossip... That's me!
I realized that I was, in fact, THAT mom just the other day. We were Skyping with friends who live far away and have never met the little muffin in person. I know they love to see her face and can't wait to hold her, but I had a total Really, Andrea? moment when this came out of my mouth:
"Do you want to see her roll over?"
I didn't even give them a chance to answer (although I'm sure they would have said yes!).
"Hun, face the camera over there I'll put her on the floor. Make sure you get this angle so they can see."
It was close to her bedtime, so she wasn't really into performing her newest trick, but I was determined not to let our audience down. So I became a cheerleader.
"Come on, honey! You can do it! Lead with your head! It will give you momentum!" After a few minutes, she finally gave in and our friends were able to witness this amazing feat of athleticism! They clapped and cheered and I know their excitement for our daughter's developmental accomplishments are sincere, but I had an immediate feeling of Oh shit. It's happened.
I've turned. Like I've been bitten by an obnoxious zombie mother, I can feel the infection coursing through my veins, slowly taking over my brain, convincing me that every human being on this planet not only wants to know all about my baby's milestones, but NEEDS to know. Because if they don't get to see a picture of her face right after she poops on her towel after bath time, or see a video of her blowing raspberries (yes, I know. I'm actually guilty of both), their life will be empty and unfulfilled. I'm saving their lives, really.
I don't believe I am the worst offender out there, though. Don't get me wrong, I take an incessant amount of pictures of my child during the day, but I promise I don't post them all! I try to keep myself in check by limiting the amount of pics I post and only posting statuses that I think will make someone laugh, or if I need advice from other mommas, but I'll admit, sometimes I get carried away. It's only a matter of time before I'm driving around in a minivan with a Proud Parent of an Honor Roll Student bumper sticker on the back and opening up an art gallery to showcase her first abstract fingerpaint creations.
Do me a favor, please. If I get really out of control, just whack me on the head with something sharp and heavy and put me out of my misery. But I'm sure it will never get to that point. It's not like I write a blog for the world to read all about my adorable and amazingly talented baby or anything...
That was me... before becoming a mom. Something strange happened to me 4 1/2 months ago. It wasn't my body morphing into the shape of a hippo who swallowed a watermelon, or the super human strength I magically obtained to squeeze out said watermelon from my lady parts, or acquiring the power to, not only function but take care of another human being on just a few hours of sleep. All of those things are weird and true, but the strangest thing that happened to me was that on that magical day in March, I became THAT mom. Yup. That mom that you roll your eyes at as you scroll down your Facebook newsfeed, trying to get past the obnoxious baby pics as fast as you can to get to the good FB gossip... That's me!
I realized that I was, in fact, THAT mom just the other day. We were Skyping with friends who live far away and have never met the little muffin in person. I know they love to see her face and can't wait to hold her, but I had a total Really, Andrea? moment when this came out of my mouth:
"Do you want to see her roll over?"
I didn't even give them a chance to answer (although I'm sure they would have said yes!).
"Hun, face the camera over there I'll put her on the floor. Make sure you get this angle so they can see."
It was close to her bedtime, so she wasn't really into performing her newest trick, but I was determined not to let our audience down. So I became a cheerleader.
"Come on, honey! You can do it! Lead with your head! It will give you momentum!" After a few minutes, she finally gave in and our friends were able to witness this amazing feat of athleticism! They clapped and cheered and I know their excitement for our daughter's developmental accomplishments are sincere, but I had an immediate feeling of Oh shit. It's happened.
I've turned. Like I've been bitten by an obnoxious zombie mother, I can feel the infection coursing through my veins, slowly taking over my brain, convincing me that every human being on this planet not only wants to know all about my baby's milestones, but NEEDS to know. Because if they don't get to see a picture of her face right after she poops on her towel after bath time, or see a video of her blowing raspberries (yes, I know. I'm actually guilty of both), their life will be empty and unfulfilled. I'm saving their lives, really.
I don't believe I am the worst offender out there, though. Don't get me wrong, I take an incessant amount of pictures of my child during the day, but I promise I don't post them all! I try to keep myself in check by limiting the amount of pics I post and only posting statuses that I think will make someone laugh, or if I need advice from other mommas, but I'll admit, sometimes I get carried away. It's only a matter of time before I'm driving around in a minivan with a Proud Parent of an Honor Roll Student bumper sticker on the back and opening up an art gallery to showcase her first abstract fingerpaint creations.
Do me a favor, please. If I get really out of control, just whack me on the head with something sharp and heavy and put me out of my misery. But I'm sure it will never get to that point. It's not like I write a blog for the world to read all about my adorable and amazingly talented baby or anything...
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Weekend Getaway
Every year my sister and brother-in-law rent a house on a lake not too far from where we live, for a week in the summer. I love that they chose a location close to us because we get to crash their vacation for a few days and spend time with our niece and nephew! This year was especially fun because it was the first time we got to experience a mini vacation with a baby in tow and watch her get to know her cousins!
The first night, my sister insisted that my husband and I go to the bar down the street for a drink so she can spend time with the baby all by herself. Who was I to argue? What kind of mom would I be if I deprived my child of some good quality time with her aunt and uncle? I knew I couldn't leave her for too long because I only had one bottle of breastmilk that I was able to pump that morning, but a little 45 minute date with the hubby was just what we needed. A great start to the weekend, for sure. We were within walking distance from the house, but because we were out on a lake surrounded by mountains, my cell phone somehow interpreted that as being out of the country, so I couldn't receive or send text messages, but I trust my sister 100% and didn't really worry too much. She's done this a few times. She knows what she's doing! Baby girl did just fine! She played a little, took her bottle and even started to fall asleep in her arms, but at one point she opened her eyes, looked up at my sister and out came the boo boo lip when she realized she wasn't with mommy. They were both able to sooth her again by the time we got home, but hearing that she experienced "stranger anxiety" (even for a brief moment) for the first time was a little heartbreaking.
It took a while to get her to sleep that first night. Probably because it was a different environment and the room was pretty bright with all the windows overlooking the lake. But the second night, we all hit the jackpot... All 3 kids were asleep before 8pm! Wahoo! No sooner did my baby's head touch her pack n' play mattress did my sister have a bottle of wine uncorked and ready to be poured.
Not so fast, sister! Here comes the steamboat dinner cruise... We watched that boat with such intensity, as if we were on the front line in battle watching the enemy approach. Don't do it, Captain. Don't you dare blow that horn! Wouldn't you know, Captain Fuckhead tooted that damn horn right in front of the house! Ugh! Baby girl started to stir and those assholes on their fancy dinner cruise blissfully waved to us with a cocktail in the other hand while my sister and I gestured back with just one finger and silently mouthed obscenities at them, careful not to disturb the children. Miraculously, peanut didn't fully wake up. Neither did her cousins! She just swung her little legs way up in the air and plopped back down, landing on her side. That was a first! She got all snugly lying on her side and fell back asleep on her own! Phew! I guess we can check that off the list of developmental milestones!
Ok, pour that wine! Oh yeah! I'm gonna hold my glass with two hands, just because I can. It was a beautiful night. We sat on the deck overlooking the lake, sipping wine and having a few good laughs by the light of our baby monitors. Life is good! I never want to leave.
If you are thinking that sounds too good to be true, you would be right. We were laughing, telling stories of the good old days, when all of a sudden we hear chanting in the distance. We couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but it definitely sounded like children and they were directly across the lake.
Me: "What is that? What is going on over there?"
Brother-In-Law: "I don't know, but it sounds like Lord of the Flies. 'KILL THE PIG! DRINK IT'S BLOOD!' "
Hubby: "Nope. That's not it. They are chanting 'FIREWORKS! FIREWORKS!' "
Me & Sis (simultaneously): "Fuuuuuuuck."
BOOM! BANG! KAPOW!
Prior to four months ago, a surprise fireworks display would have been exciting, beautiful, even a bit romantic. But in this particular moment, I wanted to swim across the lake and shove a Roman Candle straight up the ass of whoever thought this was a good idea.
All of the baby monitors started to go off, picking up the sound of the fireworks, and once again, we were on the edges of our seats waiting to see whose child was going to be the first to scream in terror. They all wiggled and squirmed, tossed and turned, but they didn't wake up! I love this place! Maybe it's all the fresh air or just the excitement of being on vacation, but these kids are sleeping! Through everything! Pour another glass and bring on the finale!
In case that wasn't enough of a threat to our peaceful evening, the neighbors decided to start a bonfire. Ok. No big deal, right? Well, as it turns out, it is a big fucking deal when you want to start a bonfire and have no wood. It is a HUGE fucking deal when you need to split logs with a metal wedge and hammer at 10PM. And it is an ENORMOUS fucking deal when you need to split logs at 10 PM AND have two barky dogs that like to sit in front of the open window! Son of a Bitch!
Well, my little peanut finally woke up and needed to be rocked back to sleep before we could finish off that bottle of wine. So we did just that. We drank, We laughed so hard, my cheeks were hurting, and we stayed up past midnight (I know, we are wild and crazy!). This will definitely be a story we tell our kids when they're older, hopefully on the same lake vacationing together again.
The first night, my sister insisted that my husband and I go to the bar down the street for a drink so she can spend time with the baby all by herself. Who was I to argue? What kind of mom would I be if I deprived my child of some good quality time with her aunt and uncle? I knew I couldn't leave her for too long because I only had one bottle of breastmilk that I was able to pump that morning, but a little 45 minute date with the hubby was just what we needed. A great start to the weekend, for sure. We were within walking distance from the house, but because we were out on a lake surrounded by mountains, my cell phone somehow interpreted that as being out of the country, so I couldn't receive or send text messages, but I trust my sister 100% and didn't really worry too much. She's done this a few times. She knows what she's doing! Baby girl did just fine! She played a little, took her bottle and even started to fall asleep in her arms, but at one point she opened her eyes, looked up at my sister and out came the boo boo lip when she realized she wasn't with mommy. They were both able to sooth her again by the time we got home, but hearing that she experienced "stranger anxiety" (even for a brief moment) for the first time was a little heartbreaking.
It took a while to get her to sleep that first night. Probably because it was a different environment and the room was pretty bright with all the windows overlooking the lake. But the second night, we all hit the jackpot... All 3 kids were asleep before 8pm! Wahoo! No sooner did my baby's head touch her pack n' play mattress did my sister have a bottle of wine uncorked and ready to be poured.
Not so fast, sister! Here comes the steamboat dinner cruise... We watched that boat with such intensity, as if we were on the front line in battle watching the enemy approach. Don't do it, Captain. Don't you dare blow that horn! Wouldn't you know, Captain Fuckhead tooted that damn horn right in front of the house! Ugh! Baby girl started to stir and those assholes on their fancy dinner cruise blissfully waved to us with a cocktail in the other hand while my sister and I gestured back with just one finger and silently mouthed obscenities at them, careful not to disturb the children. Miraculously, peanut didn't fully wake up. Neither did her cousins! She just swung her little legs way up in the air and plopped back down, landing on her side. That was a first! She got all snugly lying on her side and fell back asleep on her own! Phew! I guess we can check that off the list of developmental milestones!
Ok, pour that wine! Oh yeah! I'm gonna hold my glass with two hands, just because I can. It was a beautiful night. We sat on the deck overlooking the lake, sipping wine and having a few good laughs by the light of our baby monitors. Life is good! I never want to leave.
If you are thinking that sounds too good to be true, you would be right. We were laughing, telling stories of the good old days, when all of a sudden we hear chanting in the distance. We couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but it definitely sounded like children and they were directly across the lake.
Me: "What is that? What is going on over there?"
Brother-In-Law: "I don't know, but it sounds like Lord of the Flies. 'KILL THE PIG! DRINK IT'S BLOOD!' "
Hubby: "Nope. That's not it. They are chanting 'FIREWORKS! FIREWORKS!' "
Me & Sis (simultaneously): "Fuuuuuuuck."
BOOM! BANG! KAPOW!
Prior to four months ago, a surprise fireworks display would have been exciting, beautiful, even a bit romantic. But in this particular moment, I wanted to swim across the lake and shove a Roman Candle straight up the ass of whoever thought this was a good idea.
All of the baby monitors started to go off, picking up the sound of the fireworks, and once again, we were on the edges of our seats waiting to see whose child was going to be the first to scream in terror. They all wiggled and squirmed, tossed and turned, but they didn't wake up! I love this place! Maybe it's all the fresh air or just the excitement of being on vacation, but these kids are sleeping! Through everything! Pour another glass and bring on the finale!
In case that wasn't enough of a threat to our peaceful evening, the neighbors decided to start a bonfire. Ok. No big deal, right? Well, as it turns out, it is a big fucking deal when you want to start a bonfire and have no wood. It is a HUGE fucking deal when you need to split logs with a metal wedge and hammer at 10PM. And it is an ENORMOUS fucking deal when you need to split logs at 10 PM AND have two barky dogs that like to sit in front of the open window! Son of a Bitch!
Well, my little peanut finally woke up and needed to be rocked back to sleep before we could finish off that bottle of wine. So we did just that. We drank, We laughed so hard, my cheeks were hurting, and we stayed up past midnight (I know, we are wild and crazy!). This will definitely be a story we tell our kids when they're older, hopefully on the same lake vacationing together again.
Friday, June 20, 2014
Damn You, Rubik's Cube!
Having a new baby is like working on a Rubik's Cube every day. As soon as you have the yellow side figured out and then solve the blue, you realize that, in doing so, you've just fucked up the yellow side, and in trying to fix that, you fuck up the blue again! Soon you find yourself in frustrating spiral of do-overs, second guessing every move you make, and seriously contemplating peeling off every single goddamn sticker and reorganizing it by color to make everyone think you are so fucking brilliant and put-together that they hate your guts. Perfection. That's what we want. We want our children to be perfect and we want to be perfect parents. There's no shame in that. Of course I want the best for my child. But this week, I learned something that I think all new moms should know: Best does not always equal perfection.
By the time our baby turned 3 months, life started to get a whole lot easier. Baby girl was a pro at latching to breastfeed, we had established a daytime routine complete with somewhat regular nap times, a nighttime routine with bedtime stories, and best of a all, baby girl was sleeping through the night! We had 4 out of 6 sides of the Rubik's Cube complete! We were fucking rockstar parents! Life was good... for about 2 weeks. Then we hit the trifecta of turds hitting the fan: growth spurt, teething, and... what was the third thing? Shit. I can't remember. Hello, sleep deprivation. It's nice to see you again. NOT!
One of my biggest concerns was that this little peanut decided to go back to cluster feeding during the day again. I brought this up at the Breastfeeding Support group and Counselor Grabby basically told me it was my fault. She said that in letting my baby sleep through the night, I was allowing my milk supply to diminish. Her advice was to wake my baby up at night to feed her and save my milk supply! Excuse me? We have a good thing going and you want me to wake her up? Hell no! I tuned her out after that advice. After that she sounded like Charlie Brown's mom. Wha wha wha wha.... It didn't matter anyway because soon after that, she started waking up 2-3 times during the night on her own. Ugh.
Another issue we are now facing is teething. I think this is why she is waking up at night. It's not crying that I wake up to through the monitor, but rather a sort of primal grunting noise that you would not expect to come from the body of such a tiny baby. After waking up in a panic, expecting to see a gorilla peering over my baby's crib on the monitor, I realized it was just her trying to suck on her thumb. Actually, she was trying to get her whole entire fist in her mouth. Someone once told me that when a tooth is making its way through a baby's gums, it comes in like a cork screw! I have no idea if that's true or not, but that image was enough for me to leap out of bed and run to my baby's rescue as fast as I could. The only thing that seems to calm her down is to breastfeed her until she falls back asleep. Now she can't fall asleep for naps or bedtime unless I breastfeed her to sleep. So this begs the question: have I created a bad habit? (Hubby, did I use that phrase correctly?).
Like I said earlier, I want the best for my child. I want to be a perfect mom for her. I want to teach her how to grow up to be a strong, independent woman, the way my mom taught me. I want her to be a good problem solver and have the courage and self esteem to try things on her own before asking for help. Some people would argue that you should teach your child independence by allowing them to fall asleep on their own and let them cry it out. But is it too early to teach her those lessons?
After talking to other moms, especially the one mom that I look up to the most, my sister, I came to an answer to that question. Yes. Yes it is too early to teach those lessons. I get so wrapped up in worrying about her future, I tend to lose sight of what's right in front of me. She's just a baby and she needs me. It's ok that she falls asleep on my breast, and needs a little extra comfort in the middle of the night. It's ok that I pick her up every time she cries, and sometimes before she cries, just when she gets that little boo-boo lip going. It's ok that I kiss her cheeks several times before laying her in her crib at night, and sneak into her room for one more smooch before I hit the sack. It doesn't seem like it right now, but I am teaching her something that I never want her to forget. I am teaching her that Mommy will always be here for her, day or night, whenever she needs me. Hopefully, she will grow up knowing that she will always have the support of Mommy and Daddy, and with that she will be able conquer anything her little heart desires!
It's certainly not ideal to wake up at midnight, 2 am, 4 am, and 6 am, or to suffer the pains of cluster feeding a teething baby, but it's my life right now and it's perfect. We'll figure out this side of the cube together, and when we do, baby girl will probably scramble up all the colors again and we'll be right back where we started, in Rubik's Cube hell. And that's ok. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to nurse my little bean to sleep for her nap and hold her a little longer before laying her in her crib. No, scratch that, I'm going to put my chores aside for a while and let her nap on my chest on the couch. Now that's a perfect afternoon!
By the time our baby turned 3 months, life started to get a whole lot easier. Baby girl was a pro at latching to breastfeed, we had established a daytime routine complete with somewhat regular nap times, a nighttime routine with bedtime stories, and best of a all, baby girl was sleeping through the night! We had 4 out of 6 sides of the Rubik's Cube complete! We were fucking rockstar parents! Life was good... for about 2 weeks. Then we hit the trifecta of turds hitting the fan: growth spurt, teething, and... what was the third thing? Shit. I can't remember. Hello, sleep deprivation. It's nice to see you again. NOT!
One of my biggest concerns was that this little peanut decided to go back to cluster feeding during the day again. I brought this up at the Breastfeeding Support group and Counselor Grabby basically told me it was my fault. She said that in letting my baby sleep through the night, I was allowing my milk supply to diminish. Her advice was to wake my baby up at night to feed her and save my milk supply! Excuse me? We have a good thing going and you want me to wake her up? Hell no! I tuned her out after that advice. After that she sounded like Charlie Brown's mom. Wha wha wha wha.... It didn't matter anyway because soon after that, she started waking up 2-3 times during the night on her own. Ugh.
Another issue we are now facing is teething. I think this is why she is waking up at night. It's not crying that I wake up to through the monitor, but rather a sort of primal grunting noise that you would not expect to come from the body of such a tiny baby. After waking up in a panic, expecting to see a gorilla peering over my baby's crib on the monitor, I realized it was just her trying to suck on her thumb. Actually, she was trying to get her whole entire fist in her mouth. Someone once told me that when a tooth is making its way through a baby's gums, it comes in like a cork screw! I have no idea if that's true or not, but that image was enough for me to leap out of bed and run to my baby's rescue as fast as I could. The only thing that seems to calm her down is to breastfeed her until she falls back asleep. Now she can't fall asleep for naps or bedtime unless I breastfeed her to sleep. So this begs the question: have I created a bad habit? (Hubby, did I use that phrase correctly?).
Like I said earlier, I want the best for my child. I want to be a perfect mom for her. I want to teach her how to grow up to be a strong, independent woman, the way my mom taught me. I want her to be a good problem solver and have the courage and self esteem to try things on her own before asking for help. Some people would argue that you should teach your child independence by allowing them to fall asleep on their own and let them cry it out. But is it too early to teach her those lessons?
After talking to other moms, especially the one mom that I look up to the most, my sister, I came to an answer to that question. Yes. Yes it is too early to teach those lessons. I get so wrapped up in worrying about her future, I tend to lose sight of what's right in front of me. She's just a baby and she needs me. It's ok that she falls asleep on my breast, and needs a little extra comfort in the middle of the night. It's ok that I pick her up every time she cries, and sometimes before she cries, just when she gets that little boo-boo lip going. It's ok that I kiss her cheeks several times before laying her in her crib at night, and sneak into her room for one more smooch before I hit the sack. It doesn't seem like it right now, but I am teaching her something that I never want her to forget. I am teaching her that Mommy will always be here for her, day or night, whenever she needs me. Hopefully, she will grow up knowing that she will always have the support of Mommy and Daddy, and with that she will be able conquer anything her little heart desires!
It's certainly not ideal to wake up at midnight, 2 am, 4 am, and 6 am, or to suffer the pains of cluster feeding a teething baby, but it's my life right now and it's perfect. We'll figure out this side of the cube together, and when we do, baby girl will probably scramble up all the colors again and we'll be right back where we started, in Rubik's Cube hell. And that's ok. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to nurse my little bean to sleep for her nap and hold her a little longer before laying her in her crib. No, scratch that, I'm going to put my chores aside for a while and let her nap on my chest on the couch. Now that's a perfect afternoon!
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