8/1/14 Baby Fat

8/1/14
It's been almost 6 months since giving birth to my daughter and, not to toot my own horn, but lately everyone has been telling me how great I look and that I've lost some weight. I never know how to respond to that. It's true, I have lost a bunch of weight since the birth of our daughter, but that's because I gained a TON while I was pregnant! Close to 40 pounds, if you really want to know. And I am down to my last 10 to get back to my pre-baby size. I'm flattered by the compliments, but sometimes they seem a bit back-handed. You look great... compared to what you looked like 6 months ago! I know, it's just something you're supposed to say to a new mom and I shouldn't read too much into it. And please don't think I'm fishing for more compliments here.

Truth be told, I feel pretty damn good about myself (most days)! I still have a bit of tummy fat I could live without, stretch marks that will forever be a reminder to keep the bikini a thing of my past, and a little extra wave in my wave, if you know what I mean. But I can fit into my skinny jeans again without too much of a struggle, so I consider that a win! Even my fingers have slimmed down! I can finally wear my wedding rings again without fear of needing an amputation to get them off!

I'm no weight loss expert, but here are some tips for other new moms to consider:

1. Breastfeed- I guess it's true that breastfeeding helps with losing the pregnancy weight. I thought it was total bullshit, but I lost the first 20lbs without even trying. The nurses at the hospital also told me that if you pee before you breastfeed, the weight comes off even faster. This might have been a sneaky nurse's trick to make sure I didn't hold it in because going to the bathroom was such a fucking process right after giving birth, I actually had to plan it in my schedule. Trick or no trick, it doesn't hurt to try... Well, sometimes it hurt, but that's another blog topic all together.

2. Eat for one- you're not eating for two anymore, so KNOCK IT OFF! Actually, you never were eating for two.  You only need like 200 extra calories per day when your pregnant. That's like a handful of crackers and some cheese. So all those extra helpings of pizza and ice cream are not to be blamed on a hungry fetus. I'm totally guilty of this too and take full responsibility for my gluttonous behavior. I can't even promise that I won't commit this crime again should I get pregnant with baby #2...

3. Take a baby out to eat- if you have trouble sticking to tip #2, take a baby out to eat for every meal. Seriously. It doesn't even have to be yours! Any baby will do! (No kidnapping, please). It doesn't matter where I am or how hungry I feel, when my baby is with me, it's an instant diet. Those little suckers come fully programmed to detect your meal times and instantly put a stop to over eating, or eating in general. My baby, for instance, has Waiter Radar. Whenever we go out to eat, her alarm goes off just as the waiter brings my food to the table. Sometimes I get to eat an entire piece of bread before she sounds her alarm, but most of the time I end up having to feed or change her, or just entertain her while my food sits on the plate getting cold. By the time she's settled, my room temperature Eggplant Parmesan with cold, stiff mozzarella cheese on top is just not appetizing anymore. Don't have time or money to go out to eat for every meal? No worries. This diet works at home too. I can't tell you how many days go by when my husband gets home from work and asks me what I had for lunch and I can't remember. That's because I didn't have lunch at all. I know these aren't the healthiest choices, but they aren't really choices. They are just consequences of being around a very small, very needy human being 24/7.

4. Babies make great dumb bells- No, I did not just call my child a dumb bell. I said she makes a great dumb bell. She does! The one part of my body that I'm most proud of right now and not afraid to bare in public are my arms. I'm constantly walking around with an extra 16 lbs in my arms, usually while performing some kind of task around the house. I also squeeze in some work on my triceps just by playing with my daughter by lifting her up and down, or do crunches while we play airplane with her on my shins. She's a built-in home gym!