Let Daddy Sleep

I know a lot of moms just read that title and said "whaaaaa?"  Yeah, I know, men have it so easy right? They plant their seed and then... well, that's pretty much all they're required to do. But if you ask me, that's not an easy thing to do. Not the planting of the seed part (we can't exactly call that a 'chore' now, can we?), but the sitting back, feeling helpless part. I mean think about it. Let's say you are a big time advertising creative and you've just come up with the most amazing slogan for a brand new product. It's perfect. You spent months doing market research to finally arrive at your idea and the client loves it. Then you are told you are not allowed to be a part of the rest of the creative process. You can't choose the font or the color. You can't go to commercial shoots or oversee print production. You have to trust that someone else can take over from there and take good care of your brain child.  Maybe I'm just a control freak, but that would drive me fucking crazy! Now, imagine that with your child!

I give my husband so much credit. He, and I'm sure a lot of other great daddies out there, wants to be a part of everything. In the beginning, he would wake up with me every hour and a half and offer whatever he could to help; a glass of water, a back rub, just sitting with me while I breast fed. But we soon realized that this was not only a bad idea, it was flat out dangerous!

 First of all, the last thing I wanted at those crazy hours of the night was a back rub, especially from someone who is only half conscious. And while it was sweet that he wanted to keep me company, I really didn't need someone staring at me while I breast fed. I mean, let's face it, there wasn't exactly intelligent conversations happening at 2 am.  It was more like:
Hubby: "Does that hurt?"
Me: "Yup."
Hubby: "Oh, that sucks. Sorry."

I love when other women tell me that their lovely husbands would do diaper changes at night and then hand off the baby so they can breastfeed from bed. That's very sweet and all, but it just couldn't work in my house. For one, that would really only give me like 3 extra minutes of sleep. And two, there's no way I can breastfeed in bed at night.  Aside from being afraid of falling asleep and losing our child in a sea of blankets, we share our bed with a 40 lb dog who, although is very gentle with her new little sister during the day, doesn't seem to give a shit about where she steps at night as long as she finds a comfy spot between us.

When my husband was getting up with me in the middle of the night, we realized that the days were much more difficult.  I think it's just innate for women to be able to handle the sleep deprivation that comes with motherhood. Men, not so much. It was both comical and scary how absent-minded my hubby was on just 2-3 hours of sleep. I would ask him to get me a burp cloth and he would wander into the kitchen, open the fridge and yell "What kind of yogurt did you want?"  Don't get me wrong, I have my share of blank stares and forgetful moments too, but when we are both walking around like zombies, it's just a recipe for disaster.  Our child was never actually in any danger, but it was seriously like we were both drunk all the time. Not like pass-out drunk, just a little tipsy.

So the moral of my story is let daddy sleep. I felt much more comfortable knowing that our child had at least one fully conscious and reliable parent. That way I could take naps while hubby was home and he can have special bonding time with the little peanut. And I don't have to worry about him basting our child and putting the turkey down for a nap!