Breast Friends Forever

My friend and I decided to attend a breastfeeding support group at the hospital where we both delivered our babies. Our little peanuts have been doing well with breastfeeding, but like many other new moms, we still had 1,001 questions. I figured, why not? Even if I don't get answers to my boob related inquiries, at least we can make friends with some other new moms in the area. And if we fail to do that, at least I can get some good blog material.

And that I did.

We had no idea what to expect. We walk in and who do we see? Our favorite Boob Camp Counselor. You know, the real handsy one. "Hey!" I said to her, as if she would remember me from 3 months ago. Of course she had no idea who I was. I don't know, I just thought that since she and I went right to second base when we first met, she would at least recognize my face! Huh!

The room was already a bit crowded with babies and moms, sitting barefoot in a circle, on a blanket, on the floor. A breastfeeding picnic, if you will. Except the only ones allowed to eat are the babies.  We found a spot on the floor and joined the lovely kumbaya circle of boobs.

We chatted with a few moms and kept glancing at Counselor Grabby, wondering when she was going to facilitate this meeting. 10 minutes went by... 15... 20 minutes. She just stood over in the corner! Meanwhile all the moms, who we soon found out all knew each other from prenatal yoga classes and have been attending this group on a regular basis, kept chatting and breastfeeding. No udder covers, no blankets, just a whole lot of boobage! And there we were, my friend and I, with our trendy little nursing covers at our sides. Without saying a word, we knew exactly what the other was thinking:

Are you going to use your cover?

I don't know. Are you?

I'll do whatever you do. We're in this together.

Well, soon enough, our babies started to fuss and were ready to join the feeding frenzy.  We looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. When in Rome...  If we weren't close friends before, we certainly are now!

We soon realized that this was not going to be a raise-your-hand, Q&A type of class. It was literally just a place where moms can breastfeed together. It was a bit awkward at first, I'll admit, but I did learn some fascinating things about breastfeeding from the other moms. I even got a few tips from Booby McGrabbyhands, once she decided to leave her corner and converse with us mommies. One mom, in particular, totally blew my fucking mind with a bit of info that she shared. We got on the subject of pumping and building a good milk supply for daycare and she said "I can usually pump about 14 ounces a few times a day. Then I divide it into smaller portions and freeze some."

"I'm sorry," I interrupted. "did you say 14 ounces?  Like 1-4?"

"Yeah." She replied. "I can get anywhere between 14-16 ounces on each side every time I pump."

"What!?" I said in disbelief. "On each side?!"  I hope she wasn't offended by the you-are-a-freak-of-nature look I had on my face. "Do you mean milliliters?"

"No. Ounces."

Holy shit! I can maybe pump 3 or 4 ounces on each side. And that's on a good day! How the hell does she do that? I couldn't help but picture her pumping into a freaking Nalgene bottle, and then attaching an enormous, custom-made nipple to feed it to her giant baby (her baby was not giant at all. He was perfectly average sized).  I was so amazed by her ability to supply enough milk for an entire village, I had to tell my hubby when I got home. "Was her name Bessy?" he asked, laughing. "Is she a blue ribbon contender at the state fair?"

We had a good laugh, but honestly, I was kind of jealous! It would be so nice to be able to pump enough milk every day and have enough bottles to be comfortable leaving my baby with someone for longer than an hour. She can go on vacation for a whole week and be able to leave more than enough breastmilk for her baby! Incredible!

Soon the two hours were up and moms started to pack up their babies and leave, but not before we heard some whispers:
Mom #1: "Are you going to the..."

Mom#2: "Oh, yes. We'll be there."

Mom #3: "I'll meet you guys there in a bit.  How about you? Are you going to... the thing?"

Mom #4: "Of course! I'll see you there!"

What? What thing? Where is everyone going? Clearly we were the "newbies," not yet initiated into this secret sorority. How do we pledge? When can we become Kappa Kappa Ta-Tas? I want in!