Weekend Getaway

Every year my sister and brother-in-law rent a house on a lake not too far from where we live, for a week in the summer. I love that they chose a location close to us because we get to crash their vacation for a few days and spend time with our niece and nephew! This year was especially fun because it was the first time we got to experience a mini vacation with a baby in tow and watch her get to know her cousins!

The first night, my sister insisted that my husband and I go to the bar down the street for a drink so she can spend time with the baby all by herself. Who was I to argue? What kind of mom would I be if I deprived my child of some good quality time with her aunt and uncle? I knew I couldn't leave her for too long because I only had one bottle of breastmilk that I was able to pump that morning, but a little 45 minute date with the hubby was just what we needed. A great start to the weekend, for sure. We were within walking distance from the house, but because we were out on a lake surrounded by mountains, my cell phone somehow interpreted that as being out of the country, so I couldn't receive or send text messages, but I trust my sister 100% and didn't really worry too much. She's done this a few times. She knows what she's doing! Baby girl did just fine! She played a little, took her bottle and even started to fall asleep in her arms, but at one point she opened her eyes, looked up at my sister and out came the boo boo lip when she realized she wasn't with mommy.  They were both able to sooth her again by the time we got home, but hearing that she experienced "stranger anxiety" (even for a brief moment) for the first time was a little heartbreaking.

It took a while to get her to sleep that first night. Probably because it was a different environment and the room was pretty bright with all the windows overlooking the lake. But the second night, we all hit the jackpot... All 3 kids were asleep before 8pm! Wahoo! No sooner did my baby's head touch her pack n' play mattress did my sister have a bottle of wine uncorked and ready to be poured.

Not so fast, sister! Here comes the steamboat dinner cruise... We watched that boat with such intensity, as if we were on the front line in battle watching the enemy approach. Don't do it, Captain. Don't you dare blow that horn! Wouldn't you know, Captain Fuckhead tooted that damn horn right in front of the house! Ugh! Baby girl started to stir and those assholes on their fancy dinner cruise blissfully waved to us with a cocktail in the other hand while my sister and I gestured back with just one finger and silently mouthed obscenities at them, careful not to disturb the children. Miraculously, peanut didn't fully wake up. Neither did her cousins! She just swung her little legs way up in the air and plopped back down, landing on her side. That was a first! She got all snugly lying on her side and fell back asleep on her own! Phew! I guess we can check that off the list of developmental milestones!

Ok, pour that wine! Oh yeah! I'm gonna hold my glass with two hands, just because I can. It was a beautiful night. We sat on the deck overlooking the lake, sipping wine and having a few good laughs by the light of our baby monitors. Life is good!  I never want to leave.

If you are thinking that sounds too good to be true, you would be right. We were laughing, telling stories of the good old days, when all of a sudden we hear chanting in the distance. We couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but it definitely sounded like children and they were directly across the lake.

Me: "What is that? What is going on over there?"

Brother-In-Law: "I don't know, but it sounds like Lord of the Flies. 'KILL THE PIG! DRINK IT'S BLOOD!' "

Hubby: "Nope. That's not it. They are chanting 'FIREWORKS! FIREWORKS!' "

Me & Sis (simultaneously): "Fuuuuuuuck."

BOOM! BANG! KAPOW!

Prior to four months ago, a surprise fireworks display would have been exciting, beautiful, even a bit romantic. But in this particular moment, I wanted to swim across the lake and shove a Roman Candle straight up the ass of whoever thought this was a good idea.

All of the baby monitors started to go off, picking up the sound of the fireworks, and once again, we were on the edges of our seats waiting to see whose child was going to be the first to scream in terror. They all wiggled and squirmed, tossed and turned, but they didn't wake up! I love this place! Maybe it's all the fresh air or just the excitement of being on vacation, but these kids are sleeping! Through everything! Pour another glass and bring on the finale!

In case that wasn't enough of a threat to our peaceful evening, the neighbors decided to start a bonfire. Ok. No big deal, right? Well, as it turns out, it is a big fucking deal when you want to start a bonfire and have no wood. It is a HUGE fucking deal when you need to split logs with a metal wedge and hammer at 10PM. And it is an ENORMOUS fucking deal when you need to split logs at 10 PM AND have two barky dogs that like to sit in front of the open window!  Son of a Bitch!

Well, my little peanut finally woke up and needed to be rocked back to sleep before we could finish off that bottle of wine.  So we did just that. We drank, We laughed so hard, my cheeks were hurting, and we stayed up past midnight (I know, we are wild and crazy!).  This will definitely be a story we tell our kids when they're older, hopefully on the same lake vacationing together again.