A really funny thing happened yesterday. Well, if you ask my husband, it wasn't really funny at all. But that's only because it happened to him. I got to hear the play-by-play, so to me, it was hilarious.
We had a fun day planned this Sunday. We were meeting some friends of ours for breakfast and then taking our babies to the pumpkin patch. The mommies were excited for two reasons: 1. Breakfast is awesome, especially when you don't have to make it or clean it up; 2. The pumpkin patch offers some great Fall photo ops! Despite the fact that it was pretty fucking cold out, we were determined to get some cute shots of our little pumpkins sitting amongst the actual pumpkins because that will be adorable and no one has ever thought of that before, right?
But first, breakfast. Baby Girl can sit up on her own now, so that means we can put her in a high chair at restaurants. And that means I can finally use that fancy high chair/shopping cart cover that I got at my baby shower! It was perfect. Not only is it pretty, but there are a few rattly toys attached to keep her busy while we wait for food and it protects her from having to touch or, god forbid, lick any nasty goo that the last baby left behind from their breakfast. As we are eating, my friend says "Look at her. She is so calm and content at the table." I took a break from my plate full of bacon to glance at her, realizing now that she had stopped babbling for quite some time. "Oh, that's not calm. That's her poop face." Lucky for me, my husband eats like it's his job to be the first one done at the table. And because he's such a gentleman, he knew he was on diaper duty so I could finish my meal.
As he picked her up from her fancy seat cover, the look on his face turned to a combination of panic, disgust, and an immediate regret for scarfing down his food so quickly, as he felt the warm wetness that was all down her leg and now in his hand. "Shit. Hand me her extra clothes." Shit was right. She pooped right through her diaper, onesie, jeans, AND the fancy seat cover! Boy was I glad I still had bacon on my plate. He knew there was no changing station in the bathroom, so he opted to change her in the car to avoid laying her on the bathroom floor.
Hang on. I haven't even gotten to the funny part yet...
The rest of us continued eating our breakfast and chatting, only to realize that Hubby had been gone for over 10 minutes now! I only noticed this when I saw the bottom of my coffee mug. That means I actually got to finish my coffee and that rarely happens. When he finally returned, all he said was "That was not pretty. We should keep plastic bags in the car." And I could tell he did not care to elaborate.
As we walked to our separate cars in the parking lot, PTSD started to set in. "No, really. That was awful. Like, the worst blow out ever," he said with empty eyes. "Oh, come on. You should be used to baby poop by now," I told him. "It got on my face," he said discretely, trying not to let our friends just a few cars away hear him. "What?! How the fuck did you manage that?" I blurted out, which they did probably hear. "She kicked me with a shitty sock," he said both embarrassed and traumatized.
My response: "BAAH HAHAHA! That's hilarious!"
Hubby: "No, it's not."
Me: "This is so going in the blog."
Hubby: "I know."
So we continued on our way to the pumpkin patch with the shitty clothes and seat cover rolled up in a stinky ball in the trunk (because I'll be damned if we are going to miss a cute photo op because of a shitty sock to the face). We did end up getting some great photos. And now, for those of you who have had the pleasure of viewing them on my Facebook page, you now have an explanation as to why my child is wearing an orange shirt with a pumpkin on it with grey sweatpants that have bunnies on the feet. We were much more coordinated than that in the morning, I swear!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Please Don't Share Your Toys
I knew sending our daughter to daycare would mean bringing home lots of germs. It will be good for her immune system, right? Sure! We made it through our first cold, just one week into starting daycare. One week. That's all it took for those babies to haze the new kid. I'm sure to the adults it looked all cute, like they were learning how to share toys. But really it was all a part of some evil baby scheme to start an epidemic, just because they can. Don't let those cute, chubby cheeks fool you! Babies can be diabolical!
I thought the first cold was bad. Runny nose, cranky, runny nose, no naps, runny nose. Oh, and she had a runny nose too. If I were to collect all the snot that I suctioned out of her nose that week, it would probably equal her body weight. There is nothing grosser than a baby with a crusty booger nose. And to make matters worse, she will scream bloody murder if you try to wipe it off. Oh, you enjoy the feeling of dried up snot on your face? I'm so sorry! I just assumed you would want to maintain your soft, adorable huggable features. Nobody (except momma) wants to hold a baby with snot face. Or maybe that was her plan all along. Snot face = time alone with mommy. Diabolical, I tell you.
Just a few weeks later, we got hit with round two. Only this time it wasn't the common cold. It was an outbreak of the virus every parent fears. Not chicken pox. I think most parents want their kids to get chicken pox so they don't get it again or develop shingles when they're older. Not the stomach bug, although that is a nightmare that I am not looking forward to. I'm talking about Coxsackievirus.
Don't know what that is? Well let me give you a brief overview of our experience with it. Coxsackievirus is spread through bodily fluids. And what do babies enjoy sharing the most? Bodily fluids! Drool, snot, puke, you name it and they'll share it. "Hey, new baby! You have got to try this block I've been playing with! I've been chewing on it for a while now, so the corners of the wood are nice and soft. Here, give it a go!" Now, I know her daycare providers take extra special care to try to prevent them from chewing on the same toys. I've seen them wash the toys and switch them out, but it is impossible to prevent it 100% of the time. I assume that's how she contracted the virus.
Two weeks went by since the first case popped up in her daycare, so I thought we were the lucky ones and escaped the pandemic. I should have known luck would not be on my side. I'm the type of person who buys a scratch off ticket to put in someone's birthday card (because they are cheap, but still exciting to receive) and then they win a million dollars. Ok, that never happened, but that's why I don't buy scratch offs for other people.
It started off with just a few spots that resembled pimples on her shoulder and a couple on her leg. Within an hour, she had a fever of 102 and the rash had spread all over her back, both legs and arms. As the fever got worse, she became absolutely miserable. It was heartbreaking to see my usually happy, smily baby turn into this angry, irritable human being. Not only did the rash turn my baby's perfect skin into a red, bumpy, scaly mess, the doctor saw that she had sores down her throat too. She screamed all night long. We gave her baby Motrin to control the fever and relieve the pain in her throat, but she couldn't even take it because it hurt her to swallow. I stayed up and cried with her all night. There was nothing I could do. Not even my magical breast could soothe her. That has always been my go-to remedy! Now what?!
We kept her home a few days. My husband and I took turns staying home with her. I had day 1. She fussed, wouldn't eat, wouldn't nap, and had diarrhea. Day 2: no fever, happy, playful, took long naps and ate an extra helping of veggies. I expected nothing less. Next time, Momma gets day 2!
Hubby and I have been diligent with washing our hands after every diaper change and feeding because that is really the only thing you could do to prevent catching it yourself. To be honest, I wasn't even really considering the fact that I could get it too. I had been so consumed with nursing her back to health, I didn't take note of the fact that she loves to suck on my shoulder, my fingers, my cell phone, the remote control, my necklaces... Basically anything she could get her hands on. I was literally wearing the virus around my neck! So here I am, home on a Thursday because yesterday the school nurse sent me home with a fever and now I have spots on my throat. Last night I couldn't even sit up in bed without help from my husband. On the plus side, I get to stay home with my favorite little girl AND it gave me some time to write on my blog! Who gets the last laugh now, babies? Muahahaha!
I thought the first cold was bad. Runny nose, cranky, runny nose, no naps, runny nose. Oh, and she had a runny nose too. If I were to collect all the snot that I suctioned out of her nose that week, it would probably equal her body weight. There is nothing grosser than a baby with a crusty booger nose. And to make matters worse, she will scream bloody murder if you try to wipe it off. Oh, you enjoy the feeling of dried up snot on your face? I'm so sorry! I just assumed you would want to maintain your soft, adorable huggable features. Nobody (except momma) wants to hold a baby with snot face. Or maybe that was her plan all along. Snot face = time alone with mommy. Diabolical, I tell you.
Just a few weeks later, we got hit with round two. Only this time it wasn't the common cold. It was an outbreak of the virus every parent fears. Not chicken pox. I think most parents want their kids to get chicken pox so they don't get it again or develop shingles when they're older. Not the stomach bug, although that is a nightmare that I am not looking forward to. I'm talking about Coxsackievirus.
Don't know what that is? Well let me give you a brief overview of our experience with it. Coxsackievirus is spread through bodily fluids. And what do babies enjoy sharing the most? Bodily fluids! Drool, snot, puke, you name it and they'll share it. "Hey, new baby! You have got to try this block I've been playing with! I've been chewing on it for a while now, so the corners of the wood are nice and soft. Here, give it a go!" Now, I know her daycare providers take extra special care to try to prevent them from chewing on the same toys. I've seen them wash the toys and switch them out, but it is impossible to prevent it 100% of the time. I assume that's how she contracted the virus.
Two weeks went by since the first case popped up in her daycare, so I thought we were the lucky ones and escaped the pandemic. I should have known luck would not be on my side. I'm the type of person who buys a scratch off ticket to put in someone's birthday card (because they are cheap, but still exciting to receive) and then they win a million dollars. Ok, that never happened, but that's why I don't buy scratch offs for other people.
It started off with just a few spots that resembled pimples on her shoulder and a couple on her leg. Within an hour, she had a fever of 102 and the rash had spread all over her back, both legs and arms. As the fever got worse, she became absolutely miserable. It was heartbreaking to see my usually happy, smily baby turn into this angry, irritable human being. Not only did the rash turn my baby's perfect skin into a red, bumpy, scaly mess, the doctor saw that she had sores down her throat too. She screamed all night long. We gave her baby Motrin to control the fever and relieve the pain in her throat, but she couldn't even take it because it hurt her to swallow. I stayed up and cried with her all night. There was nothing I could do. Not even my magical breast could soothe her. That has always been my go-to remedy! Now what?!
We kept her home a few days. My husband and I took turns staying home with her. I had day 1. She fussed, wouldn't eat, wouldn't nap, and had diarrhea. Day 2: no fever, happy, playful, took long naps and ate an extra helping of veggies. I expected nothing less. Next time, Momma gets day 2!
Hubby and I have been diligent with washing our hands after every diaper change and feeding because that is really the only thing you could do to prevent catching it yourself. To be honest, I wasn't even really considering the fact that I could get it too. I had been so consumed with nursing her back to health, I didn't take note of the fact that she loves to suck on my shoulder, my fingers, my cell phone, the remote control, my necklaces... Basically anything she could get her hands on. I was literally wearing the virus around my neck! So here I am, home on a Thursday because yesterday the school nurse sent me home with a fever and now I have spots on my throat. Last night I couldn't even sit up in bed without help from my husband. On the plus side, I get to stay home with my favorite little girl AND it gave me some time to write on my blog! Who gets the last laugh now, babies? Muahahaha!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)